On Frozen Wings
by deexatsu
Summary: Elrien, the girl who's father leaves for Skyrim and never comes back. She ventures to Skyrim to find him. The end is near but never there.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter I

The sun is shining bright today, its the middle of the Second Seed and the warm days are yet to come. I was usually coming at the port of Skingrad, the water was so ever calmly and I would take off my shoes so I could soak my feet in the cold water. Bah, I never really did enjoy the hot days of the summer. I would usually keep myself busy in the warm days with my father's books in the library where the air was cooler, it was more static, It had something about it that I enjoyed, and the melodic silence fitted it all.

„The Hero of Kvatch"

I glanced down at the book in my lap. After reading so many times that I've lost count I still can't imagine how could Martin Septim transform himself in a dragon, and the Hero of Kvatch was there to behold it all. It just seems so unreal even if it did happened 200 years ago, which wasn't such a long time if you come to think about it. The Oblivion Crisis surely was a time to be alive. I tiled my head back to look at the sky; the sun's gentle rays changed my grey eyes almost to white; sighing I murmured to myself: „To become a dragon, woah...". Always I have dreamed being an adventurer just as the Hero of Kvatch was; but I did know that such a life was not suitable for me, im the girl of a writer, not a warrior. Lost im my thoughts, when I finally returned to reality I realised I was late. I've quickly took my shoes, I felt the sun's warmth inside them as I've put them on and I've snatched my book quickly and went back home.

Rumbling through his things I could have guessed my father was yet again preparing for one of his litte expedition out in the world. Peering inside the slighty open door of his library I saw him packing some supplies, I frowned in disbelief.

„Father?" I asked as I nocked on his door.

„Yes, my child?" he didn't rise his gaze to look at me being too busy with his packing.

„Are you going to leave again?" I asked, carefully walking inside making my way next to him.

„Yes, yes." – he searched his cupoards, drawers finally reaching for a quill – „I'll be leaving for Skyrim at dawn."

Skyrim...I took a moment find any memories connected with that name. The land of the Nords I finally caught on a glimpse as I remembered a painting of mountain from that land called „The Throath of the World" I once saw in a shop here in Skingrad. I did so envy my father. He would never have took me with him in his travels outside of Cyrodiil. He saw all the provinces that there were, all the lands and never getting tired of doing it all over again. I could not tell myself what more inspiration could he find for his stories as he had seen them all and why would he still leave me alone for such long periods of time. My mother died giving birth to me; he was my only family and still he would leave me alone only having his library full of books as a reminder of him.

I inhaled deeply, thou I knew his answer would be a no I still managed to gather myself some courage and asked him.

„Will you take me with you?"

This time he rised his gaze to look at me. He began with a low voice.

„You know I can't Elrien. I can't risk something happening to you, you're just a little girl, you're my only child. After..." – he paused for a brief moment this time his gaze was facing the floor – „...after what happened with your mother I can't risk you coming with me, you're only eleven and out there its different I couldn't bear the tought I could lose y-"

In that moment I spanned: „Yes, but you can leave me all alone for months and then come back like like none of this happened!"- I felt my eyes water and I glared at him - „You always do this! These books of yours are more important than your own child!"

He did not have the time to reply, nor did I want to hear what he had to say as I ran out of the room as soon as the words escaped my mouth. I needed to run away. Running down the streets I went to the town's gates and asked the guard to open them, he did raised a brow thinking it was a little late but in the end nodding he did so and I went straight to old lady Lyann's home. She had a little shack down the road close to town with a beautiful garden next to it. Her youth was harsh with her, she couldn't bear children so she always considered me as her niece. She welcomed me to stay the night and I did not complain, nor she asked me what was wrong, by the look of my face she knew my father was leaving again.

The next morning after I woke up I went straight home only to find it as empty as it was everytime father left. He left me all alone again. That bastard, I thought to myself without realising that I was on my knees, little transparent pearls of water falling down my cheeks.

„To Oblivion with you and your blasted hunger for writing father." I murmured narrowing my eyes as I looked at the window seeing dawn was sweeping through. He did not even wait for me to give him my farewells.

Moments have passed which seemed like hours to me, I've pressed my hands on the floor as support to get up. Wiping my tears I returned back to Lyann. Her wrinkled eyes were looking with pity at me.

„He left, Elrien?"

„Yes, he wasn't home anymore when I arrived." – I gave her a fainted smile as I made my way to sit next to her on her bed.

She stroked my hair lightly trying to comfort me and I gave a small sigh.

„I will braid your hair." Lyann finally spoke.

„Please do so, lady Lyann." She had such light hands. As she began to ran them through my hair little strains of hair looked as if they were blonde, not light brown as my hair was. I raised my head a little to look through the window, I couldn't help but notice the little specks of dust that where slowly dancing in the sun's rays. Its rays was reaching my face as well making it look even paler than it was. I closed my eyes slowly as I enjoyed Lyann's hands stroking my hair. It didn't took long for her to finish as my hair was just a little above my shoulders. It was her way of comforting me. Everytime father was not home I mostly spent my nights at hers. The dark scared me but the thought of being all alone scared me even more.

Months have passed, and my father did not return. Then months transformed to years and father was yet to come home.


	2. Chapter 2

The first two years without father have been hard. I missed him so…so much. Every morning I was opening the door to his library my heart would tear a little more. After another year or so I began to enjoy the silence that enshourded the library more and more. I would have spend my morning shuffling through the books, reading them and by another year and a half I would have finished reading about half of them.

I have given up on my habit of spending my nights at lady Lyann's little cozy shack. I was old enough to look after my own. Our house felt so empty. There wasn't father around anymore to mumble things to himself while lost in his writings, to rumble through his papers, drop things on the floor, to yell at me for missplacing where he put his things. It was empty and silent and even if I live there the house seems abandoned. There was no one who these stone walls could listen to. From time to time I used to go inside my father's chamber. I would lay on the bed and think about the happy memories I had with him. Sometime I used to murmur a prayer to Mara that he would come back home, if he was ever to come back…I still do but my hope grows thin by day.

There weren't many children in Skingrad I could play with, I had a Dunmer girl living close by my house, Talsesi, it took so much of me to build the strengh to talk to her but when I wanted to introduce myself to her she snorted at me calling me a book rat so I have been avoiding her since. Even if I was awfully shy and cowardly failed to make friends with the children in the end I've made friends with Hinsrich. We had a little merry friendship and became the best of friends. We used to play mostly with sticks pretending to be swords until his father saw us one day and with a smile he promised to give us some real swords. We were so excited we really believed he was going to give us real swords. He kept his promise but he didn't gave us real swords, he made for us two little wooden swords. We were so happy that day, we played with them so much that both of our arms went numb.

I was keeping myself busy with everything I could still waiting for my father's return. Reading, keeping the house clean and neat, wandering the streets, helping lady Lyann with her garden, playing with Hinsrich and sometimes I would try learning conjuration spells but I seem to have a knack for magic. As a Breton I would have made my kind embarrassed if I didn't knew any conjuration spells. With that being said I've took some time to learn a basic spell. All I know is how to summon a wolf. It's a wolf, it might not be much, but at least the spell lasts about two minutes, more than just a few seconds as it did when I first attempted to cast it. I even began doing alchemy and in time, with the flowers I gathered from Lyann's garden I created so many fragrant potions I have a shalf full of the stuff, they are mostly Lavender mixed with Redwort Flower.

The years came and went and I've came to terms that my father is dead. Time seemed to flew by with ease and I had an ordinary life anyone would have until today.

"I will miss you greatly, Elrien." - Hinsrich spoke softly as he closed the distance between us to embrace me and peck my cheek. The embrace last long and as he let go of me I couldn't help but stare directly into his blue eyes as the sea with a little faint of green. I felt mine hot and about to cry. He gave me the most beautiful smile I have ever seen while he was reaching for his belt. He took my hand a placed a little glass dagger in it "Take this," - he began lowly – "a little something to remember me. Promise me you'll be safe and you will take good care of you, miss. When the war has ended I will return."

"Y-yes." – my voice was cracking and I was holding my tears in – "I promise you." I tried to put a smile on my face.

He returned the gesture giving me a faint smile then he turned around heading for the city gates already opened with a few other soldiers waiting for him. His blonde hair was blowing in the slightly wind as he was getting further and further away from me, the gates finally closing and him gone forever.I was gripping the dagger hard and I could not move until the gates where not closed. And when they finally closed I wanted to run after him. A side of me knew he was a capable and good soldier, his father thought him well, but I knew he wasn't coming back. He was going to fight a stupid civil war. And where? To Skyrim of course. I've lost my father a long time ago to that place and now im losing the man I've began to love. It is a one sided love, I've never told him how I felt, I did not have enough courage to, and now he is gone forever as well. Now with Hinsrich leaving and lady Lyann died a year ago of old age I have ended up all alone. A tweenty-one years old woman with no one at her side.

I knew I was going to end my life soon.

I turned around and started walking, I was supposed to walk back at my "home". I was looking down at the dagger holding it with one hand and with the other one gently touching it to feel its texture. The dusk was settling giving the dagger memersizing shades of gold and yellow. When I have finally returned to reality I realised I passed my house and turned back to it. I stepped inside and I threw Hinsrich's dagger on a counter in the hallway hearing a goblet dropping to the floor. Passing my chamber I went straight to fathers. I layed myself on the bed and I started staring at chandelier which was in the middle of the room. The morning greeted me. My eyes where swollen because of the sleep I was lacking and the tears I have shed.

"Mara, please forgive me." – I said to myself and I got up from the bed heading straight to the attic to find a rope which I can put on the chandelier and then, around my neck.


End file.
